You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
Randomize
