Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
Randomize
