I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Randomize
