Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
Randomize
