I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
Randomize
