i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
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