Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
Randomize
