apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
