the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
Randomize