i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
Randomize
