my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
