I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
I was not drunk enough for that final.
Randomize
