I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
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