Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize