I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
There r osticjed everywhere
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
Randomize
