There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
