A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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