It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
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