she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
Randomize
