You're completely useless in the revolution.
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
Randomize
