Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
