were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
Randomize
