Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
Randomize
