why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
I am full of burrito and curiosity
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
