He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
Randomize
