Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
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