so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
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