This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
Another day, another engagement, another cat
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
how does that bad decision feel?
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