I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
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