i just wanna soil my oats bro
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
Also, beer. Big fan.
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
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