OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
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