Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
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