Well apparently he's into motor boating.
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
Randomize
