What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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