they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
oh god was she eating orange peels again
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
Randomize
