I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
Do you know how when animals have surgery they put those cones around their heads so they can't lick their wounds so they can heal? I think someone should invent that for human emotions.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
I can't trust your balls anymore.
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize
