If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
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He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
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I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
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