I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
Randomize
