Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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