I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Randomize
