please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
40s are totally the cure
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
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