brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Randomize
