Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
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