I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
50% drunk capacity currently
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
Randomize