I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
i wish starbucks made bloody marys
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
Randomize
