i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
my poor anus
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize
