I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
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