At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
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