Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
Randomize
