My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
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