i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
Randomize