That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
They should really pass out barf bags in church
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
Randomize
