just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Randomize
