Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
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