so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
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Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
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Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
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