Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
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