Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Randomize
