My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
Randomize
