2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
