it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Randomize
