her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
