i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
Randomize
