oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
Randomize
